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Tim Minchin - 5 Poofs And 2 Pianos Lyrics And I know I 'orta, appreciate the risk you took the bookers who agreed to book a chap who tends to talk about the kind of things that get the BBC, in hot water And I don't want to seem greedy, I'm just saying I'd like to be here every week, if that's OK and if you hear me out I think I've got a way in which we could do it pretty easily You could leave all the boring details to me It's a brilliant idea, a truly original concept No one in Britain has ever done anything like it, yeah... Picture this... Imagine if we had... 5 poofs and 2 pianos Yeah, it's a wicked idea Why settle for a quartet of queers When there's a possibility of a penta-poofter-piano-posse here 5 poofs and 2 pianos Yeah, it'll be ace A 100% more pianos And 25% more gays I know, I know I've seen the problem too There's a rumour, I am straight it's true It hurts to admit it, but I'm about as bent as Wossy himself ... or 50 cent. But I've already thought it through D'you know there's preachers in America who reckon they can do Sexuality conversions, I've heard them assert They can cure a man of trouser love and turn him onto skirt But I don't see why they couldn't pull the same trick in reverse And we'd have... 5 poofs and 2 pianos Yeah, it's a revolution Probably the best solution To the problem you're inevitably having with an even number of homosexuals Yes I know Your producers might suspect That the license paying public will object To the corporation having yet another homosexual to pay The Daily Mail will bring the big guns out Jan Moir will be froffing at the mouth Writing further brilliant stuff about The myth of being both happy and gay But all that moral indignation Will disappear when they see Those 4 lovely guys and me Singing in perfect harmony And all those angry letter writers Like disgusted from the Isle of Wight And mad from Hull and outraged from Leeds And slightly annoyed from Berrycon Tweed Will instantly change their tune They'll be bleeding hard liberals by Saturday noon They'll be giving their grandchildren up for adoption In the hope that gay married couple will adopt them They'll be putting rainbow stickers on their cars And cutting holes in the arse of their leather strays Watching 2 pianos and 5 guys, Watching 2 pianos and 5 guys Watching 2 pianos and 5 1, 2, 3, 4 ... 5 poofs and 2 pianos Yeah, it'll be grand You can never have too many pianos Or too much man 5 poofs and 2 pianos And maybe would could out Jamie Cullum Make it a trio of pianos And a big gay half-dozen. [Note: Sorry if I've messed up anywhere - Dale Hay (dalehay.com // soundupload.com)] Error? If there is a problem with these lyrics then please email us and we'll try and fix it. |
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